Navigating Difficult Relationships During the Holidays
The holiday season brings joy, celebration, and connection, but it may also include interactions with difficult individuals. Navigating these moments can feel stressful, yet it’s possible to maintain your calm and protect your well-being with a few simple strategies.
In this guide, we’ll explore four science-backed tools for dealing with challenging people—both during the holidays and beyond.
Recognize That Relationship Challenges Are Normal
It’s common to face relationship difficulties. According to relationship expert Dr. John Gottman, 69% of relationship conflicts stem from “perpetual problems”—fundamental differences in personality or needs that are often unsolvable.
Understanding this can be freeing. When a conflict arises, ask yourself: Is this a perpetual problem? If so, consider “unhooking” from the issue and allowing yourself peace of mind instead of engaging in a useless battle.
By reframing conflicts as normal, you can shift your focus toward maintaining harmony rather than trying to resolve every disagreement.
Set Internal Boundaries to Protect Your Well-being
Internal boundaries are self-imposed limits that protect your energy and emotional well-being during challenging interactions. Unlike external boundaries, internal boundaries don’t require others to change their behavior—they empower you to manage your own limits and preserve your calm.
Examples of internal boundaries include:
Limiting the duration and frequency of visits
Steering clear of controversial topics
Deciding how much energy you’re willing to invest in the interaction
Internal boundaries allow you to take control of how you experience these challenging moments, helping you remain composed and centered.
Take a Break When Needed
Everyone needs a break from difficult people, and the holiday season is no exception. Stepping away, even briefly, can restore your balance and help you navigate the interaction with a renewed sense of calm.
Effective strategies include:
Going outside for a walk: Nature’s calming effects are backed by science and reduce stress, making you feel more centered and peaceful.
Engaging in deep breathing: Slow, mindful breaths help soothe your nervous system creating a relaxed sense of well-being.
Connecting with someone safe: Spending time with a trusted friend or family member releases oxytocin, a stress-reducing hormone.
For especially challenging situations, combine all three for maximum stress relief.
Focus on Your Core Values
Research shows that clarifying your values prior to engaging in a difficult situation can help reduce stress. Before encountering a challenging person, reflect on what truly matters to you. For example, if you find your cousin’s comments frustrating, but value the bond your children share with their cousins, keeping this value in mind can help you stay calm. By prioritizing what’s meaningful (your children’s relationship with their cousins), your brain will stay calmer, and you will remain more relaxed and resilient.
Handling challenging relationships during the holidays doesn’t have to derail your joy or peace. By understanding the nature of conflicts, setting internal boundaries, taking restorative breaks, and focusing on your core values, you can navigate these interactions with confidence and ease.
This season, prioritize your well-being and create experiences that allow you to celebrate and connect meaningfully—even in the face of difficulty.
If you would like professional support navigating challenging relationships or to learn more, please click below:
References: